Crispy Crane
by Alex Took
Summary: Abbie's attempt to surprise Crane with an outing together goes horribly wrong...


**Crispy Crane**

The rain pounded on the hood of the car like gunfire.

"As I stated previously," Abbie clenched her jaw and locked his gaze as he turned to face her. "_If_ you had listened to me at the Winkie store-"

"_Twinkie_." She snapped.

"Whatever absurd name you people call that ungodly sustenance, we would be home by now, safely warm with tea and socks. Not here, in the middle of God knows where because you are a stubborn little bird."

"Excuse me Crane?" Abbie's eyes were on the stoic man who looked as if he was awaiting this attack, and almost wanted it. "A little what?"

"I don't know why you keep asking for clarification, you heard me very clearly." His superior tone only made her angrier.

"You know what, that guy at the gas station wouldn't have known a rabbit from a bat, so don't you dare put this on me."

"Oh?" The tone of his voice told her that a large part of him was trying to push her buttons. And as hungry and tired as she was, she was done.

The following words came out muttered, but not as quiet as she had hoped.

"Dick-adbod Crane." Crane straightened, looking ahead before twisting to face her with a curious look. Abbie felt slightly guilty.

"_Dick-adbod._.. that, that word used to be a name, but I know full well that in these times that word means several, unkindly things. My my, Left Tenet, you have a foul mouth." Abbie bit the inside of her cheek and looked to him under a heavy brow.

"You asked for it."

"I very much did not." He snapped, looking genuinely upset.

"You may as well have. If this is anyone fault, it's yours." Crane stared before an indignant expression covered his face as he unbuckled his seat belt. The sound made Abbie jerk to look at him.

"What're you-"

"Since this is, supposedly, _my_ fault, when it was your idea to take me to this _place.._. I had plans for the day. Big plans. And I mean to finish them." Abbie assumed he meant to make a dramatic exit by swinging the door open, but after several tries he paused. Just as Abbie moved to auto lock all the doors, she heard a click and the sound of the rain. The cold of the night was flung at her face as Crane disappeared.

"Crane!" She called, guilt, anger and worry bubbling up. "Crane!" But there was no answer.

* * *

_**Hours Earlier...**_

Abbie scrolled down the screen, clicking through to the purchase button. _Groupon_. A place of fun and unusual deals that made for an exciting day, at least that's what Abbie had heard, and had hoped would come of this particular unique purchase. Today was one of her few days off, and things had been unusually calm in Sleepy Hollow. She and Crane needed to take advantage of it while they could.

Abbie dug out a nice set of clothes from deep in her dresser, ones she hadn't worn since she was dating. Not that this was in any way, like, a date, she just thought she'd put out an effort. It was her day off after all. And she was going to have fun with it. She hoped Crane was in a good mood, but yes or no, he was coming with her.

* * *

Starbucks was a beehive despite the afternoon hour. As she sipped her latte, she poured a regular coffee into a disguised separate mug to save her ears from a rant. It was also a power trip against the man who seemingly, was always right. She smirked.

* * *

After a short bumpy drive down the road to Crane's wooded abode, she knocked on the door for a few seconds before a tall British man answered.

"A little late for carpool? Is it not long past noon? I have been waiting since 8 AM attempting to call your cellular-" Abbie held up a finger to shush him.

"Crane, I'm sorry. My phone was dead and I, well I slept in."

"Slept _in_? While I awoke early enough to count the-" A quizzical look crossed his face as he paused and looked Abbie over. "Are you hosting an event here?" Abbie brushed off his annoyance turned amusement with a wave of her hand.

"It's nothing Crane, it's just-it's our day off and I thought we might do something with it."

"Do people like us get day-offs?"

"Probably not. But I say yes and so does Irving, not sure if demons do."

"Well. I will grab my coat, as I took it off come 9 AM when I assumed you may, indeed, be tardy." He shot her a superior look before disappearing inside. Abbie entered the home, her boots clicking on the hard floor. He had started to make the place his own. Decorations here and there, a table from their trip to Pier 1 which she didn't wish to soon relive.

"May I ask where we are going Miss Mills? As you are wearing a skirt." He quirked a questioning brow. "I don't believe I have ever seen-"

"Just get your crap and let's go."

"I beg your pardon? Was it not me waiting all morning for you?" Crane tauntingly took a seat at the couch and crossed his legs, picking up a newspaper. "Did you hear, Iowa is having quite the snowstorm."

"Guess you'll never find out." By the time Abbie got to the door Crane was quick at her heels giving her his sideways stare. A storm cloud gathered above them, dark and heavy with rain.

"I would guess that I might," he pushed ahead to hold the car door open for her, a thing he did both out of habit and because he knew it was a peeve of hers. He smirked through the foggy window and joined her in the car, adjusting his jacket. Abbie pulled her coffee cozy over the Starbucks label of her own drink and handed his over.

"Coffee this late? Are you trying to keep me up all night?"

"If it took us all night to get where we were going, than you'd need it anyway." Crane raised his brow and took a sip.

"Thank you, Miss Mills." He hugged tight. "I will take this as an apology." Abbie resisted rolling her eyes.

"You could have left me a voicemail." Crane stiffened.

"You know how I feel about those... and besides." He took on an unsure tone. "I'm not quite sure my calls ever truly reached you. A woman was consistently shouting 'please hang up and try again.'" He nearly shivered at the memory and glanced Abbie's way as a smug smile passed on her face.

"Ha! So you didn't call?" He seemed mildly defeated and looked out his window at the passing leave-less trees that hugged the road.

"In case you'd like to know. I was expecting breakfast on the way to work." He took a sip and gave her another sour eyed glance.

* * *

His mood improved on the short drive back to town, glad she had indeed got the coffee. Abbie smirked as she drove, for he was rather enjoying his cup of what he might call-

"Please god, not there!" Crane barked, almost panicked, when Abbie turned on her blinker at a street cornered Starbucks. Abbie smirked as she looked from the mug he was hugging to the shop.

"You gotta give it a try sometime, I think you'd like it."

"Like it? Like a monopolizing coffee chain that is trying to take over the streets of Sleepy Hollow like some sort of indecorous military?" Crane shuttered and settled into his seat. "No thank you Miss Mills."

"Don't get your pannies in a bunch we're not stopping there." Crane stiffened, shooting her a quizzical look.

"My what in a what?" Abbie pretended like she didn't hear him, and continued pretending as he went on a rampage of modern phrases and their idiocies, happy that the shop she was heading to wasn't far.

* * *

As they pulled up Crane's brow furrowed. Drops of coffee clung to his facial hair as he stared. "Krispy...Kreame?" He muttered. "The inability to properly spell these days is utterly dumfounding. It's a C!" Crane shouted out at what he thought was an employee, but was simply a man taking donuts to his car. The startled man darted to his truck. Crane felt a whack as Abbie shoved at him.

"Stop harassing customers or we'll be kicked out before you even eat." Crane eyed her before settling embarrassed into his seat.

"I thought he..." Abbie rolled her eyes as they got out of the car.

The smells of greasy sweet donuts and coffee stained the air as they walked in, making both their stomachs grumble. Crane eyed the place and its inhabitants carefully. He leaned into Abbie's ear.

"A pastry shop?" He quirked an eye brow and she nodded.

"Not just any." She pulled him in line beside her. An overweight, well dressed couple in front of them eyed Crane's outfit with a snobbish glare. Abbie had to fight from shooting one back. She was used to people staring at her friend, and she had gotten over it. As did Crane. But what she hated was the superior glares, as if any of them knew the reasons for looking like he did.

Apparently she was glaring, for Crane was amused as he eyed her.

"Do you wish you dine elsewhere?" Abbie snapped out of her stare and smiled.

"Nope." Crane raised a smug brow.

"Did you take us all the way here to get more coffee?" He stiffened and side glanced at her. "Here instead of that... Starbucks, just for my sake?"

"Believe it or not Crane, I don't do everything for you." He smirked as she did. "Look around." In fact he hadn't done that yet. He was much to busy trying to find a culprit for the misspelling of "Crispy Cream." He began eying the decorations and pictures of round pastries with holes in the middle that looked a lot like donut holes... but, the holes? Crane straightened and shot Abbie a nervous sideways glance. She smirked.

"What? Don't like Donut holes anymore?"

"I..." He slyly sidled out of line and between other patrons to get a good look at the pastries on display. Donuts of all different colors and sizes, but the ones with the holes interested him most.

"Miss Mills." He said with a tone of urgency once back at her side. They were next in line to order. "Are you to tell me that donut holes come from, _donuts_?" Abbie stared in disbelief. Crane knew just about everything, or so he acted, yet the origin of a donut hole seemed to be warping his mind. Abbie raised her brows. She had brought him here since the first donut holes she ever gave him, that he enjoyed so much, were Krispy Kreames. And now he looked about to bolt.

"So you're telling me, you can time travel and memorize books, but you don't know where donut holes come from?" Crane's face of concern morphed to a look of superior amusement as he rocked on his toes.

"Do not mock me. I don't know _everything_."

"Really?" Abbie said sarcastically. "Well it isn't that hard to figure out. You see you take a donut, and cut a hole out of it." He refused to meet her eyes as he put his hands behind his back.

"I see that now." He in fact hadn't thought of how they were made. But for whatever reason, the idea that they were the middles of real donuts, then popped out and named Donut Holes... was becoming obscene. "I'm not sure I am-"

"Next please." Abbie yanked him up beside her as they faced the wrinkled cashier.

"I would like half a dozen and a bag of donut holes please?" She arched a brow at Crane in question and he nodded.

"Yes, that sounds most appetizing." But his tone said otherwise. Abbie was becoming exasperated. She thought he would enjoy getting more of the pastries he so loved, not insensibly offended at how they were made. He seemed to get weirder the longer she knew him.

As the worker piled the donuts into bags, Crane eyed her. Abbie gave him a warning look.

"Want anything else while we're out, a bottle and a diaper maybe?" She whispered mockingly, he looked away, hands behind his back.

"Yes in fact, I will use the facilities before leaving, if that is what you are asking." He knew it wasn't, but he wanted out of there. Proud, he found the toilets quickly. Though the moment he walked in he was startled. The men's room at the office had only 2 stalls and Crane hadn't used an overwhelming amount of public restrooms... so the sight of a man leaving the porcelain shape on the wall, zipping up his pants made Crane stiffen and turn about. The man left with a glance at Crane, to which the tall man ignored like a nervous dog.

"Barbaric..." He whispered. He heard toilet paper roll and his heart jumped. Not only was he being asked to use the bathroom, in front of an audience, but there was another man right behind him in the stall. All that coffee had made him had to go. Badly. He considered locking the main door to not let anyone else in. But then the occupant inside would be trapped in there with him... he cleared his throat. It was only a urinal. He had only glimpsed a few, and didn't quiet understand how they were used until now.

Crane took a deep breath and stepped up to the urinal, hand on his top button, feeling increasingly violated.

* * *

Abbie began to munch on a donut, she watched the men's room door open only to see another man leave. She sighed and headed for the car. Crane's business was his business.

* * *

Despite the impropriety, Crane was about to go for it, when a shockingly wide and greasy man waddled in and aimed to do the same. He gave Crane and his outfit an amused once over. Crane's eyes widened, and at that, he darted out the door like a mouse.

* * *

Abbie jumped when Crane's face slammed into the glass door of the shop that said PULL. He slammed again before realizing his mistake. The tall man darted to the car, looking like a scared rooster with disheveled feathers.

The car door was violently yanked open and he piled himself inside, slinking down with a fuming face.

"Do I even wanna know?" She glanced down to the top button of his pants that was still unbuttoned. The tall man reddened even more so and sat up a little, fixing his clothing.

"I am not sure how often you go into the men's facilities, but the contraption they ask you to use to relieve yourself is the most indecent and barbaric thing since Denny's' scrambled eggs." Abbie snorted on mouthful.

"Are you serious?" Her mocking tone only made his embarrassment and annoyance flutter.

"Do you think this a joke, Miss Mills? I would like to see YOU go and try to use something like _that_ while others stare on."

Abbie shook her head with a laugh, "I've never seen someone so traumatized by a urinal." He shuttered.

"That's its name?! Of course. I should have guessed." He strapped himself into his seat, clearly still in discomfort from having left the urinal unused. "Well thank you, Crispy Cream with a K, I am no longer hungry." The last words he said with some tone of rebellion, crossing his arms across his chest.

"So I'm guessing you didn't go?" He refused to look at her.

"_No_."

"You're seriously making me reconsider those diapers."

"Miss Mills! I will quote "_go_", when I find a suitable location. I am no longer a soldier in the middle of God knows where. I have the right to a proper toilet." Abbie arched a brow and tossed him the donut bag

"Well for further traumatization, here's the donuts. And the _holes_. Eat them before you become any more of a Crispy Crane." She started the car and headed for the road. Crane pealed open the bag like it had a live animal inside. Eying the contents carefully, he picked up both a donut hole and a donut, holding them side by side.

"Try it will you. You'll like it." After some silence, and careful scrutiny, he took a bite of both to compare. The quiet made Abbie smile. "Told you they were good."

"I never doubted you." He swallowed.

"A-huh." He rummaged through the bag and pulled out a chocolate covered donut. Raindrops began to sprinkle the windshield as the sun faded.

"As much as I would like to _not_ admit this... I would say the offensive entity that the donut-hole comes from, is more flavorful than the hole itself." Abbie wrinkled her nose.

"You just found a way to make donuts sound disgusting." This made the tall man smile. She turned onto the freeway, leaving Sleepy Hollow behind.

"Good. Now you understand what my morning has been like. Gross. And dramatized." He smirked tauntingly. Abbie smirked and shook her head.

"Don't make me pull over and make you pee in the street." He looked ahead.

"Ah, than you would have found a Urinal then, since that is the equivalent." Abbie threw a wrapper at him to which he ducked from with a smirk.

* * *

Abbie had a general idea of where they were going. She knew the name of the place, but more so, knew it was rather out of the way. Set back in woods she was unfamiliar with, a decent distance from Sleepy Hollow. In fact, she didn't know just how far until her phone, whose GPS had been acting up, spoke.

"2 hours until your destination." The voice robotically called out, to which Crane glowered.

"That is both an annoying voice and annoying distance. Are you taking me to Canada, Miss Mills?" She sighed when a long stretch of traffic came into view.

"I might just leave you there if you keep treating this day trip like a ride to prison." She snapped with more tone than she meant to. Crane hunched slightly in his seat.

"I apologize. But I did not sleep well and... awoke early. I need to relieve myself and I have a splitting head ache." He viciously popped a donut hole in his mouth as if that would cure his complaints.

"There's a jar in the back."

"And this has meaning because?"

"Look, it'll be awhile until we see a toilet." She eased on the brakes as the rain started coming down hard before the mile of stopped cars. Crane stared at the blank freeway stone wall beside him.

"No thank you." He crossed his legs uncomfortably and tightened his fists in his lap.

* * *

She didn't know how long they had been in traffic, Crane was strangely quiet, and so was she. For she was beginning to fume. The traffic was going to delay them a lot, too much, if she were to get where she wanted to go before it closed.

"I understand what a surprise is. But what could be so thrilling, that you must drive your vehicle 4 hours to get to?" Abbie clenched her jaw.

"Like I said Crane, it's a _surprise_." It wasn't until the GPS reloaded and stated it was now 6 hours until their destination that Abbie realized the machine was more than acting up.

"Damn it." Crane looked up, curious of her anger, carefully eying the phone.

"Do you share my relationship with her?"

"Yes. This isn't working and-" she sighed, tossing the phone aside as it went black. "Is dead." With a pause of thought as sweat heated over her, she turned on her blinker and sped off an exit ramp. A little too sharply for Crane's liking.

"Miss Mills, may I ask what you are doing?" He gripped the arms of his seat for dear life.

"Shortcut."

* * *

"You got 5 minutes. If I see you running from the urinal again I'm leaving." Crane gave her a quick glare before walk-running into the gas station. By the time she got inside, he had disappeared. She sighed with relief and eyed her dead phone. If the wall clock was right, they had just over an hour to get there. She realized it might not even be worth it anymore. They would hardly have time to eat, or enjoy themselves at all. But no, she had fought hard, and argued a lot to get this far. She wasn't giving up yet.

Just as she decided to ask the cashier for directions, she noticed him picking something from his nose and... she turned away before she could puke donuts. He then proceeded with his conversation on the phone about his recent vampire attack and possible alien abduction. Since her recent joining to the what she could call, the demonic world, vampires didn't seen so far fetched. But from a man like him... she didn't trust his judgment. Abbie leaned against the wall, eying a wrinkled map when Crane came out, smiling.

"Now this facility knows how to build a proper restroom." Abbie gave him a stiff stare.

"It's a gas station." He glanced away, holding his hands behind his back.

"This I guessed. However I would more so, call this a..." He cocked his head as he read a row of yellow stuffed wrappers lining a tall shelf. "A Winkie store?"

"_Twinkie_." She corrected. An impish look grew on his face and as soon as she recognized it she narrowed her eyes.

"_No_."

"But they might be-"

"They're not."

"How would you-" Abbie violently yanked a dollar from her pocket, grabbed a twinkie, threw the paper money at the man and headed for the door.

"He bit me though! I-a gonna be a-one right soon here!" The fatty said to the person on the other line as he stuffed away the dollar.

* * *

Crane proudly held the Twinkie in his hand once in the car. Abbie peeled out of the station and headed for a dark, stormy looking road she hoped lead to where she was going. For if it wasn't, they might be out there all night. And that is something she wanted to avoid more than anything.

The wrapper crinkled loudly as Crane unpeeled it.

"If you like it, you'll be the first person to enjoy one since never." Crane sniffed the yellow plushy substance.

"If it is so foul, why are they for sale everywhere?"

"Same reason as Starbucks." She arched a brow, watching him out of the corner of her eye as she drove. Crane took a bite.

Abbie had to keep from crashing at the face Crane made, mouth full of white and yellow chunks.

"Good God!" He shouted with a muffled cry.

"You never listen." She chuckled superiorly.

Crane began to cough and Abbie slapped his back. It took a minute or two for the choking and new traumatization to wear off. When it did. He glared at the dark, wet road ahead.

"I want to go home."

"Diapers, bottles, what else do you need?" He calmed himself, swiping hair from his face.

"As soon as we finish this, what will be... fun. Event. I would like to be taken home, that instant."

She hated to admit it, but all she wanted to do was go home as well. And the longer she drove, the deeper into the woods she got, the more doubtful she felt she would never be home. Nor at their destination.

* * *

The rain was pounding. The road was empty and black, twisted like a frozen tornado. She started worrying she had gone the wrong way, and by the direction the sun was setting, she was. Thunder clapped above.

"Are you sure you-"

"No." Abbie answered before he could finish.

Abbie only had the vaguest idea of where they were, and was just thinking about pulling over when something darted in front of them. A deer. Abbie's heart jumped, she swerved, nearly peeling off the twisty mountain road as they were sent crashing into a tree. The impact was worse feeling that it truly was, no airbags were released, but the pair of hearts in the car were pounding like the thunder above their heads.

Abbie gasped, squeezing Crane with a hand she hadn't realized she had protectively thrown out to his chest.

"You all right?" The man's hair was tousled in his face but was otherwise unharmed.

"Yes." He gasped. "I... I believe so."

Abbie leaned back in her seat with a frustrating kick at the door. She pulled up her hood, venturing into the rain to check out the damage. And damaged it was. A tire sizzled in the mist. Abbie sighed, the winter rain was heavy, and she had no spare clothes. Back into the car she went. Crane was hard at work with the On-Star, however, it didn't seem to be working.

"Are you jokin'." Abbie sighed. He tossed her a glance before speaking into it once more, but received only static.

"I repeat. I have crashed in a vehicle and am in need of assistance. Yolanda! Yolanda help!" Crane tried once more before giving up and leaning back in his seat.

"Dead phone. Dead car. No water, and no food." Crane held up the rest of the Twinkie like it was rotten meat. Abbie smirked a little. "Perfect." Her head thumped against the seat. "Only choice is to walk back to town."

"You are not walking back to town like that on a night like this. It is over 5 miles anyhow. And yes I did count on that, meter." He pointed at the mileage timidly.

"Sleepin' in the car? Done that enough times to say it isn't sleeping as much as trying to stay warm, and in the places where I was, _safe_." Crane got quiet and Abbie followed. There was no way now to reach her destination. And she knew it was already too late anyway. Every option flew through her mind of what to do, but all ended with a night spent in the car. After some time, Crane broke the silence.

"If we are to spend the night in this car, may we use the heating system?" Abbie smirked and rolled her head to look at him, quirking a brow.

"No, I'd rather freeze." While keeping her amused gaze Crane leaned down and clicked on the heater with a proud look. She nodded in approval.

"Welcome to the 21st century."

The pair checked out the car's damage, though Crane was of no help, and reconsidered the walk to town several times before deciding it best to stay in. There were no house lights in sight, and this far out, a random strangers' home didn't exactly sound inviting. As nightfall fell quickly, basking them in a black world, Abbie used a flashlight to search for anything like a blanket.

She found two old sweatshirts and tossed one to Crane. "Keep yourself cozy." He picked it up and eyed it like it was a strange piece of foreign food before gingerly resting it on his chest.

"Cozy I shall not be, but thank you. Miss Mills." He arched a brow at her before curling up as much as he could, but with his tall height, he looked like a giraffe cramped in a horse trailer. Abbie couldn't help but smirk.

"Sorry, guess this car was built for the short people of this generation." She said with some sarcasm as her people were supposed to be bigger than his.

"Apparently."

"Lets just try, and get some rest. We got a long walk in the morning."

Abbie pulled the hoodie tight on her head. She wasn't sleepy. And she guessed he wasn't either. But she didn't feel like talking. In fact, his constant shuffling and sighing as he tried to get comfortable was getting on her nerves as a pounding headache rolled in.

"You doing gymnastics over there?" She snapped, looking over. Crane peered over his shoulder at her with one blue eye, a sweatshirt arm, that looked child seize next to his long frame, lay draped over his back.

"Sleeping is most difficult when one is tired and smashed like a sardine." He looked away. "Perhaps, Miss Mills," his voice was muffled against the sweatshirt wound about him. "If you had asked for directions at the Oil Station, we could be at your secret destination by now, or better yet, _home_." Abbie arched a brow though her back was to him.

"Wouldn't have made any difference."

"Oh?" His tone was sarcastic, and though none of this was his fault, and she knew it, at times she treated their relationship like an old married couple, and not always for the best.

"Don't _oh_ me. _Maybe_, if you hadn't taken an hour to take a pee, we'd be home by now." She spun about to face him, feeling like a child trying to win an unneeded argument. He tried to do the same, but got caught up in the sweatshirt and seat belt he for some reason, still wore. With a painful bang of his knees on the dashboard, he faced her.

"Your exaggeration does you no good. It was the proper amount needed to "_go_" but I did not, nor will I ever, use something like that. A tree is more civilized."

"You might as well be wearin' a loin cloth."

"That would be most uncomfortable. And cold. Worse than _skinny jeans_, I can imagine." He balled up uncomfortably once more. There was a brief silence, and Abbie knew if she didn't break it with something of a White Flag-like comment, the bickering wouldn't stop.

But he spoke first.

* * *

_**Present...**_

The rain pounded on the hood of the car like gunfire.

"As I stated previously," Abbie clenched her jaw and locked his gaze as he disentangled himself to face her. "_If_ you had listened to me at the Winkie store-"

"_Twinkie_." She snapped.

"Whatever absurd name you people call that ungodly sustenance, we would be home by now, safely warm with tea and socks. Not here, in the middle of God knows where because you are a stubborn little bird."

"Excuse me Crane?" Abbie's eyes were on the stoic man who looked as if he was awaiting this attack, and almost wanted it. "A little what?"

"I don't know why you keep asking for clarification, you heard me very clearly." His superior tone only made her angrier.

"You know what, that guy at the gas station wouldn't have known a rabbit from a bat, so don't you dare put this on me."

"Oh?" The tone of his voice told her that he a large part of him was trying to push her buttons. And as hungry and tired as she was, she was done.

The following words came out muttered, but not as quiet as she had hoped.

"Dick-adbod Crane." Crane straightened, looking ahead before twisting to face her with a curious look. Abbie felt slightly guilty.

"_Dick-adbod._.. that, that word used to be a name, but I know full well that in these times that word means several, unkindly things. My my, Lieutenant, you have a foul mouth." Abbie bit the inside of her cheek and looked to him under a heavy brow.

"You asked for it."

"I very much did not." He snapped, looking genuinely upset.

"You may as well have. If this is anyone fault, it's yours." Crane stared before an indignant expression covered his face as he unbuckled his seat belt. The sound made Abbie jerk to look at him.

"What're you-"

"Since this is, supposedly, _my_ fault, when it was your idea to take me to this _place.._. I had plans for the day. Big plans. And I mean to finish them." Abbie assumed he meant to make a dramatic exit by swinging the door open, but after several tries he paused. Just as Abbie moved to auto lock all the doors, she heard a click and the sound of rain. The cold of the night was flung at her face as Crane disappeared.

"Crane!" She called, guilt, anger and worry bubbling up. "Crane!" But there was no answer.

Abbie didn't wait long before cursing under her breath, pulling the sweatshirt Crane had left behind over her head, and darting out the door. The rain fell around her, her flashlight hardly breaking the watery beams pounding the forest floor. He couldn't have gone far, and if he did, he had no where to go.

* * *

Crane marched, his annoyance being replaced by smugness as he heard her call after him. It was a power trip. But at least it had worked. And there was always the slight chance something or someone was out here. But the bitter cold of the storm was making him rethink things... as she called his name, he nearly answered, but instead silently held his ground.

* * *

Abbie stomped through the wet bushes, shining the light this way and that. "This isn't funny Crane. You could get hurt, get your a-. Get your _behind_ back in that car."

* * *

Crane smirked from behind his tree. Now he felt like he wanted to win. Picking up a heavy stick, he tossed it a few yards in front of Abbie. The flashlight boomed there instantly, and she called out, heading towards it. It was only when Crane heard a branch break behind him that made him think twice about being exposed in the black woods during a storm. Places like these were not always safe for people like them. Another crack of a branch. Crane was just about to expose his position when a light caught his eye.

_Abbie_.

He called out to it, but when the beam of the flashlight blinded him from another direction, his heart froze up. That was indeed Abbie's light. But the one coming towards him through the fog, was not. Crane shushed her, but through the rain fall it went unheard as the woman tromped towards him. The light came closer, dull as it was, as if it were a ghost itself, gliding through the storm with no hand to guide it. As Abbie neared he lunged for her, clamping a hand over her mouth and whispering "no" while looking at her eyes as much as he could in the reflected light.

* * *

Abbie stiffened at the sweaty wet hand that gripped her face. Was this some sort of... then she saw it. She automatically reached for her gun, but she didn't bring it. Thinking it wasn't exactly appropriate for a-

"Back away slowly." Crane whispered in her ear. The light had paused, and the pair stiffened when another light appeared like a star behind a moving cloud. An ominous cloud. Abbie grabbed his arm and pulled him backwards, nearly tripping on each other. With what they had faced lately, the likelihood it was a centuries old demon was just about as likely as an- old woman, in a shawl?

The shape took form once in the flashlight beam, shielding herself from their light. Another shape came behind her. A tall man, adorned with a white curly wig. The pair stared on. Crane's heart skipped a beat, his mind beginning to spin.

"You..." Was all Crane could muster as he took in the man's clothing, that was clearly from the same century as his own. Same pants and coat, but cleaner. Fresher. The woman too, in a dress of the likes he had seen dozens of times in his life... his old one. Not this.

"What in Gods name are you pair doing out this late, here? Are you staying with us?" Confusion flooded Crane's mind. Had they walked through some sort of portal, for the lamp the woman held was indeed old and fluttering with candlelight.

"We..." Abbie was thinking the same thing for a moment, before realization dawned. "Are you Mr. and Mrs. Harker?" She asked with some doubt in her voice. The woman straightened and nodded with a smile.

"That we are."

Crane stiffened and slowly looked at Abbie.

"Miss Mills. Do you know this pair of... well dressed people?" Abbie let out a sigh of relief.

"Groupon People?"

Mr. Harker nodded excitedly.

"Yes, please, come with us and we'll sort you out." They led them into the darkness. As they fell a step or two behind, Crane leaned down in her ear.

"May you please enlighten me as to what a Groupon-People are?" Abbie simply chuckled, beyond relieved, she patted his chest as she passed him.

"You'll see."

Crane was eager to do anything but. His curiosity and hope, or worry, of time traveling was getting the best of him as he hurried to keep pace with Abbie like a timid child.

When the home came into view, it only made Crane's fear blossom, until of course, he saw the modern cars and shining motorcycle in view, the dim lights of the house reflecting on their modern surfaces.

"No electricity here, to keep it authentic. Must have been why you two couldn't see us before. Thick rain and all." Her phony British accent said as she looked their wet clothes over, leading them up the stairs of the quaint porch. Once in Crane couldn't stop staring, oblivious to the words being said as Abbie briefly accounted what had happened.

The home inside looked identical to one Crane could have once been to, from the furniture to the walls, to the beds the couple showed them once up stairs. As the woman sidled out the door, after placing a steaming kettle, cups, along with some scones, she said with a smile, "You'll have to tell me where you got those in the morning. My Mr. has been looking for boots like those for ages!" And the door clicked shut. Crane smiled politely but a part of him was still stiff with confusion.

Abbie sat on one of the twin beds, facing Crane. He paced the room, threw off his sopping coat and faced her.

"An explanation would be most helpful, if you wish for me not to loose my mind?"

"Too late for that." Abbie said with a smirk before patting beside her. He took a seat, and he listened. The a small fire crackling behind them.

The Group-on deal Abbie had purchased was advertised as an 'Authentic 18th century full course meal,' located at a home, that was apparently also a B&B, untouched by modern advancements- full costumed staff, and all sorts of other things she knew Crane would pick apart for inaccuracies, but there was always the hope that-

"That it would make you feel more at home, or maybe just, a little less far from it." She said looking at him, brows raised. She twisted her fingers in her palm.

Crane let out a sigh, a smile on his face.

"What a kind gesture gone so horribly right." Abbie stiffened, turning to face him. The firelight danced in his blue eyes.

"Gone _right_?"

He arched a brow. "We're here aren't we. Despite what words... locations... and nourishment it took to get us here." He was smirking and an impish lightness was in his eyes. Abbie smirked, her headache seemingly faded.

"I'm sorry I was so-"

"No. _I _apologize." He bowed slightly. Abbie let out a sigh through her nose.

"Some surprise huh." He straightened and rested a cool hand on her arm.

"Some surprise indeed, Miss Mills. As they say, it is the thought that counts. And as bumpy as a road as it took to get to this Mildly-Historically-Inaccurate abode," He gave her arm a squeeze before bowing. "I say thank you. And you succeeded, no matter the cost," his smile grew to his eyes, "for it is the adventures, like these, which I share with you that make me feel truly at home." She shouldered him with a smile, watching the flames of the fire. He bumped her back. "Now, to get onto more important things." He stood up, kicking off his boots.

"Tell me, do they include your 'big, big plans' you meant to follow?" She said mocking his accented voice with a raised brow. He eyed her over his shoulder as he plopped on his bed.

"Perhaps." His long arm reached into the drawer and smiled when he pulled out a pair of fresh socks, tossing off his old ones. "Regardless of asking the... Twinkie, man, for directions." He settled in, the distance between them in the tight room close enough for her to watch the playfulness dance in his blue eyes. "We did make it home. Safely warm, with tea," he picked up a steaming cup Mrs. Harker had left behind. "And-"

"Socks?" Abbie finished for him, amused as she sipped her own fresh steaming mug. He inclined his head in approval, wiggling his toes.

"Here, in the middle of God knows where because you are a kind, little, friend."

She smirked, resting against the headboard. There was some silence as they settled in, the fire died down, and the pair warmed up in their beds, sleepiness gathering in the room. As their candlelight flickered out with a breeze, Abbie turned to face him in the darkness.

"You awake?"

"I believe so."

Abbie smirked in the shadows, rolling onto her back. The shuffling of blankets being the only sound.

"You enjoy your coffee this morning?" Crane stiffened.

"I fear your tone, Miss Mills." He went quiet. "Yes. I did." She silently chuckled, pulling the blankets to her chest.

"Good. Goodnight Crane." The day passed through Crane's mind, and the taste, and smell of Abbie's drink that morning had indeed matched his own. He broke the silence with words she could hear were said with a smile.

"If I am going to be made a fool, Miss Mills, I would rather it be by you than anyone else."

"That a compliment?" He rolled to face the wall, smirking.

"Goodnight Miss Mills." She smirked, feeling like a pair of kids at a sleepover who were meant to be asleep an hour ago. And in fact, she felt even closer with him after the day they had then she thought would have happened.

"Goodnight Crane."

"Sleep well Miss Mills." Then said with a smile over his shoulder, "don't let the Winkies bite."

"And sweet Starbucks dreams to you."

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_**Author's Note: **_I hope you enjoyed this story! Please review! :)


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